50 Reasons Not To Date A Poet

It may sound romantic, but in search of that elusive metaphor, poets can be somewhat  “eccentric.”

1. If you date a poet everyone will think you are the jerk they are writing about.
2. You will be the jerk they are writing about.
3. They have an unnatural affection for book stores and office supply stores.
4. They have deep conversations with Animals, Clouds, and Grecian Urns.
5. Excessive use of  “poetry hands.”
6. Excessive abuse of  “poetic licence.”
7. Excessive use of  “melancholy.”
8. Excessive use of  “dramatic emphasis.”
9. They collect obscure words that have not been in circulation for at least 100 years or more.
10. They insert these antediluvian words into conversations just to rebel.
11. They think children’s books are sublime.
12. They refuse to care where the remote is.
13. All of their furniture are positioned around windows, for them to stare out for hours at a time.
14. Your parents will think they are possessed.
15. They are possessed.
16. You…