A GIRL I USED TO KNOW
“Though the earth be moved//and the mountains give way//Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46
There was a time I didn’t know
I needed her because of the way I learned to rely on her.
I’d breathe a smoker’s pant and plod with feet of bricks & my body,
a mountain to be moved.
It always got moved & always with her there behind it smirking
like she didn’t notice the river swelling at my feet.
I challenged myself to wait or meet her
at some appointed place when she encouraged: go on,
go farther, go for some illusive Done
that would creep away again, rob me of her.
I knew she didn’t understand.
But she was there & smirking taking no obvious notice
of the river swelling at my feet.
I craved her pacing to match, so sure she could make me stronger;
or maybe I was a just a poor judge of feeling.
So each step I questioned I also took like cheap chances for some prize
that did not match the price of the ticket.
I took them & they typically melted
in the water that dripped from me turning itself
into the river swelling at my feet.